Children of Hollywood
(Nothing's What it Used to Be)
by Nyssa Jayne

I was on my own, just playing my acoustic guitar.  It was a rare little moment of peace, love and music in LA, without being told to make it... better (more marketable).
My not-so-baby-anymore brother came bounding through the door.  His eyes were wild with artificial happiness; he was coming down from Beverly Heights or otherwise.
"Ike!  Ike, Ike, Ike!  My man!" he laughed.  I laughed at him and the fresh hickies on his neck that had replaced his old ones.
"Zac, shutup," snapped Taylor, who was lying back on the couch with a cordless phone, talking to someone, maybe a girlfriend? who was slowly pushing his buttons and getting him mad.
Zac ignored him, continuing with his story.  I was pretty sure it had happened last week too, in fact, most weekends, but I still couldn't get used to the idea of Zac telling it.  It sounded more like something an up-and-coming B-grade actor from a bad telemovie would say, not Zac.
"Me and Chantal, that chick who's best friends with Ash's girlfriend, we went to the birthday of her cousin's fiancé, I don't remember, it involved free booze, that's the important part!  So me and Chantal did a line each first, and there was some left over pills from whatsinamey's twenty-first, so we put them to a good home too.  So anyway, we were absolutely off our face, right..."
The story continued and it included sex with that girl, ahhh, y'know, she has blonde hair! gatecrashing the classiest party, throwing up on designer threads, and finally, waking up with the imprint of someone's bathroom tiles in your face.  Zac used to do crazy things, like have waterfights with enthusiastic fans and writing songs about aliens, but now he just did stupid things, things that anyone wanting to be faux rebellious and "cool" did.
"You sound like a fucking junkie from a rap song- yes, I'm listening to you!"  Taylor's attention was quickly diverted back to his phone call.
"That girlfriend you're talking to... is she the one who holds the key to your heart, the one who will unlock it and fill it?"  Taylor had one ear and two eyes on Zac.  "Or did you knock her up like the last however many?"
It had to be said that none of us were doing too well for ourselves right now, what with the party invites and contraception methods.
"You little shit- no, not you, girl- call waiting, be right back."
I kept playing guitar.  It was something that I could probably do in my sleep now; maybe I had been for the past four years.  Being kids in a garage band with hippy parents supporting us all the way in Tulsa was the most fun any of us ever had.  Being jailbait in a pop group living in LA was something like the complete opposite.
Taylor had been silent during this second call.  Zac was chatting to himself (me?) and I kept playing.
Nothing had been the same since Mecury Records signed us and 'MMMBop' went from indie to pop.  The teenage romantic and the crazy one and me had gone from homegrown poppets to children of Hollywood.  Many will attest that it ends in sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll.
"What's happened?  ... How, why- no, listen!  ... Fuck a letter in the mail!"  Taylor hurled the phone across the room.
"Two baby Taylor's in the oven?" quipped Zac.
"We've lost our fucking record contract."
I stopped playing guitar.
"That's all I know.  They're sending a letter with details."  I rubbed my eyes.
"Just... like..." In my tired state, I struggled to think what word came next.  "... that?"
Zac laughed.
"Ike!  King of the Rambling Monologue!  You not being able to put a sentence together is unbelievable!"
"Times have changed," murmured Taylor.  "Nothing's what it used to be."

Musical Credit

Loosely based on the song 'Beautiful Way' by Beck
From the album 'Midnite Vultures'

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