Where The Prima Donna Caught His Cold
by Nyssa Jayne
"I'm dying," moaned Taylor, although it sounded more like "I'mb dyingk,"
due to his stuffy noise. He was huddled up on the couch under a mountain
load of blankets and tissues, smelling like sweat, cough lollies and eucalyptus
oil. Taylor never just got the sniffles, he got "pneumonia" and "acute
asthma". If you ever go to a show and it seems like his voice is a little
off, chances are he's suffering from "severe tonsillitis". Taylor's not a
hypochondriac, he's actually a prima donna.
"You are not dyingk," sniggered Zac as I laughed at our "dyingk" brother.
"Shut up," snapped Taylor. "When I'm dead by the end of the day, you guys
will be crying, and I'll be like, serves you right..." Zac and I tuned
out.
"Maybe that girlfriend of his, Natalie, gave it to him," mused Zac to me, so I
nodded my head in playful thought.
"Natalie has been sick lately, but she didn't get me ill. She's pregnant."
"Taylor, are you sure she's pregnant? I mean, she could just be fat."
"She's not fat! She's pregnant! Do you want to argue with the pee on
a stick the doctor took?"
"You knocked your girlfriend up!" I gasped.
"Don't say it so loud!"
"Mum! Guess what Taylor did!" At that point, Taylor proved how much
of his "influenza" was an act when he raced across the room and jumped on Zac
and I so we'd keep quiet.
* * * * *
Taylor miraculously recovered from his brush with death and "hypothermia",
but probably wished he had of drowned in snot and self-pity when Mum and Dad and
Natalie's parents found out about their premarital sex creation that was taking
place in Natalie.
A meeting between the two families was called. Zac and I weren't invited,
so we had to spy on the proceedings. The major topic was... wedding plans.
We heard Mum's voice the most.
"It'll have to be as soon as possible, so people won't think to pull out their
calculators... we'll have to break the news to the fans as gently as we can...
if we release photos of Natalie, they'll have to be from her shoulders up...
no one is to know why they're getting married."
"Why do we have to get married?" pouted Taylor.
"... For the baby."
"Aren't we exaggerating a little?" he quizzed. Then, Taylor sneezed.
Mum touched his forehead to check if he was coming down with something.