Hanson - June 06

Hanson were pretty subdued in the public eye last month. I know, I know, Zac got married and that got pretty decent publicity in the press, but it was a private event after all. And I consider the photos of the beaming bride and groom released to the press - a bonus. Seriously. I didn't release any of my wedding photos to the press.

At anyrate, congratulations to the happy couple again and let's move on.

Um... where I wonder?

Let's see. Taylor and Ike were pretty quiet too. Let's assume that they were in the studio doing their stuff. Hopefully not three part harmony. So apart from speculation, I can't really offer anything there.

The Hanson.net forums? Man. I can break the 2000 words limit here without breaking a sweat writing about various um... things that were happening there. It was so much happening that it actually spilled over outside to other places like MySpace, other ( rebellious ) message boards and such. But I will not elaborate on that, for various reasons. The main thing is that we luuuuuuurve this band to death, eh? And that ought to justify all we do here.

Now. Let's truly move on.

Hm. Let's actually move back. Literally (to the beginning of this missive) and figuratively (in time)

Zac's getting married was a thought provoking affair for every long term fan. Most of us reacted the same way. "Are we talking about this little fella?"

Then of course we reminisced how it was way back in the last millennium, hansonline and the other trillion Hanson sites, and the hansonhitz chatroom and Netscape 3 (my first browser) and dialup internet connections on the home phone line ("Get off the internet mum, I have to call 911!")

No matter how incredible it sounds - there WAS Internet life before MySpace and Live Journal.

I remembered one of the funniest pieces of internet writing I read way back in 1997. It was called a "The Good Journalism Guide to Getting a Straight Answer Out of Hanson" and believe it or not, I still have it on my hard drive, 3 Windows releases later.

What I am going to do now is pull it out and see how relevant it is today. I am sorry I can't give the credit to the original author because I have no clue who they are. Nor that anybody can prove that it was them - it was way back in 1997, remember? Copyrights and Internet? Psh! But kudos to you! You know who you are.

Here we go:

1997:
Don't ask Zac.
Don't ask Ike.
Ask Taylor no matter who you ask Taylor will answer anyway so you may as well.

Now:
Don't ask anybody. Just ask. They will answer it talking at the same time.

1997:
Forget what I said, ask Zac, sometimes his answers make the most sense.
Now:
Check. Except I would replace that "sometimes" with "most of the time". Despite paying too much attention to questions about rabid squirrels.

1997:
Mention Cindy Crawford in the question; you're likely to get a long answer out of Ike. Don't mention Cindy Crawford in the question, you're likely to get a long answer out of Ike. If Ike takes a breath during his answer jump in with a new question - life is short.
Now:
Well Cindy is still a beautiful lady although she is pushing 40 and Ike is still footloose and fancy free - so I would say - check.
Oh? That's not the point? Ike still rambles when he answers? Naah. He never did. You should see me on a good day, which was actually yesterday when I had.... Never mind.

1997:
If you hear " Well you know..." switch off your tape recorder - you don't have enough tape.
Now:
Check. And you find me a reporter that doesn't love that. Including yours truly. Oh you didn't like my tour report? Well. There is nothing I can add to that so let's carry on.

1997:
If you hear the words " Well I haven't really thought about that" you are never, never, never going to get an answer.
Now:
Cross. Maybe the guys had their answers rehearsed in 1997 but definitely not today. Or you wouldn't get answers like "Oh, just black [coffee]. Black like I like my women. I mean, sorry, my wife is not actually black but... oh God! That didn't mean anything.Sorry.Yeah."

1997:
Don't try to get them to bad mouth anyone - won't happen.
Except each other.
But then they'll apologise to each other - during your interview time.

Now:
Cross.
Check.
Cross.
And if you need explanation - then you don't follow every breath Hanson take as you think you do.

1997:
Do not ask them about their musical influences, yes they will answer the question. Just don't ask okay?
Now:
Check. We still hear occasional Chuck Berry and 50's and 60's rock'n'roll thrown in there. But that's the reporters' fault. Why would you ask a band that has been together for 14 years about their early influences?

1997:
Their siblings aren't joining the band. Deal with it.
Now:
See previous. Ike is 25 for crying out loud.

1997:
Don't try to get them to diss the fans.
Don't try to make them hug the fans.
Don't try to interview the fans.

Now:
Check. But may I add that Hanson are too nice sometimes.
Cross. They toured South America after that.
Hm. The private chat with the fan was pretty cool.

1997:
No specifics - food, movie, actor, actress, band, song, thing a fan has given them, colour lava lamp, their own song... they won't tell you because
A: They can't decide on anything and
B: They don't want to get a deluge of whatever they picked in the mail.

Now:
A: What do you think?
B: Check. Although I don't believe that the volume of their mail is anywhere near the one in 1997 when Zac got 350 packages for his 12th birthday and the mailman went into early retirement.

1997:
Ask them if they have girlfriends. Go on. I dare you.
Now:
With two married band members it's a really intrusive question to ask.

1997:
Before you ask - En Vogue to Aerosmith.
Now:
You need Google and a few visits to some seedy bars.

1997:
It's about relationships! It is deeper than you think! It is a moment of time!
Now:
It still is.

1997:
Any question relating to the Internet leads inevitably to these words: www.hansonline.com
Now:
Cross. Any question relating to the Internet leads inevitably to these words:www.hanson.net
Oops! Same thing.

So my fellow Hanson fans, what do you think? Have the guys changed?

Until the next time, keep checking those mailboxes.