Whisper (Zac’s story)

Fighting a losing battle is never good for anyone, and I was doing just that. I was fighting a newfound addiction. When I finally felt I’d moved past the drugs, I fell into the hands of something much dangerous. I’d become a vampire junkie.

I hadn’t intended for it to happen, but then again, what junkie intends for their addiction to happen? Most just want the temporary escape but forget about the addiction that is attached with it. Just like all things good: there’s always a catch; there always is. Sometimes it’s hard to find, but it’s always there. At least there was help for people with drug problems; vampire junkies had to deal with their illness on their own. Everyone was too afraid or naïve to believe that vampires were really out there. Hell, even I’d laughed them off like the urban legends they seemed to be. That dream broke away like glass when Rayne crossed my path.

I don’t even remember it that well; she’d just been waiting there after a concert and caught me alone. Quicker than I could blink, she’d had my back against a brick wall, hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. Her eyes sparkled with an unnatural light, and I caught sight of her amber eyes. Those eyes made me dizzy, made me forget what I had been doing and where I was headed to. I lost myself in those eyes, but I didn’t care.

When I came to, she was gone. It had only taken a few minutes out of my time, but it started a need that would keep me glancing to every dark shadow in search of her.

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My addiction to Rayne got worse as time passed, but no one knew what was wrong with me. I got hateful with everyone, my family, my friends, even Kate. Kate had cornered me several times, desperate to find out why I was having such outbursts, but I never gave in. I didn’t want her to know what was the matter with me; I was afraid I’d lose her if she knew about the vampire who visited me late at night and took a pint of blood from me. Truthfully, I was more afraid of losing Kate than I was of being a vampire junkie.

In a downward spiral, I was losing Kate. She and I spoke less and less on a daily basis, and I just sat alone in the dark at night waiting for Rayne. She came every time, and I made a mistake. I’d invited her to be wherever I was, so she could come and go as she pleased. If I revoked the invitation, she would be forced to stay out. But, I couldn’t force myself to uninvited her; I was too addicted to the way her fangs gave me a sort of high from the blood loss.

Hair down that fell around the base of my neck in heavy clumps kept the fang marks hidden from everyone. Bangs fell into my eyes, but I preferred it that way; it hid me from Rayne’s eyes that made my skin crawl because they looked so much like a porcelain doll’s eyes. She was like a porcelain doll; a blood sucking, living dead porcelain doll.

Rayne’s mental powers found a way to shut down primal places in my brain that controlled my movements. I was sitting on the hotel bed then found myself laying upon its covers. She swept my bangs back so I was staring her right in the eyes. I felt my brain go numb, and my eyelids fluttered. Frantic beats from my heart sounded in my ears, but I felt calm; my body knew what was going on, but my mind was too frozen from Rayne’s power.

Caressing my cheek softly, she leaned closer to me. Grabbing a handful of hair--if I cut my hair, she wouldn’t have an easy way to keep my head at the angle she preferred to draw blood from. I would also be forced to give my addiction to her if my neck was exposed for all peering eyes. Her breath danced wildly along my skin, and waited for the quick prick of the fangs.

Nerves panged sharply as her elongated canine teeth scratched over the tender skin of my neck. I twitched in response, and Rayne took that as her cue. I gasped as the fangs penetrated my skin and hit a vein; a sharp bee-sting feeling was my focus until it died out in a few seconds. I wasn’t feeling all the pain because she had numbed my brain, but she left some feeling.

In my right ear, I heard soft slurping sounds, and I felt Rayne’s lips move over my skin every few seconds to keep the blood flow steady. It was such an intimate action; I daresay as intimate as sex can be. That thought scared me because I enjoyed Rayne feeding on a pint of my blood whatever nights she came. I wasn’t suppose to enjoy it that much, and it was eating away at my conscience. I had to do something to stop it.

Rayne’s fangs retracted, and her soft lips were no longer at my neck. She let go of my hair, and my head rested against the pillow. I still faced to the left, as Rayne had faced me; my blood loss was kicking in because everything was not so important any longer. I felt like I was floating, and I remembered why I was a vampire’s junkie. I enjoyed the foggy headedness way to much to let go; it just made me feel so calm.

Her hands cupped my jaw and turned my head to face her. My bangs were covering my eyes, so I couldn’t see directly into those amber spheres. Gingerly, Rayne’s lips brushed over mine, and I licked my lips as an automatic response. A coppery taste filled my mouth, and I knew it was the essence of my blood. I should have been sickened by it but wasn’t. I was feeling too “high” to be sickened by it.

Her fingers traced over my jaw line, over the stubble that needed shaved in the morning, and stopped at my temple. Leaning very close to my face, she stated, “You want this to stop. I can hear it in your head,” her hand slipped through my thick, coarse hair. “You can’t take this anymore. You like the feeling from it, but you want your old life back. After all, you just got it back on track not so long ago.”

With my entire being, I wanted to tell her she was right. I wanted her to leave me alone and let me straighten out my crumbling relationships with everyone close to me. But, I had a feeling that Rayne could hear it in my brain.

“Just whisper. Answer one question with yes or no,” her voice was smooth as silk and that silky feelings brushed over my brain. A trick of hers, I’m sure, but it felt good. “Do you want me to stop coming to you, bleeding you?”

Fighting to regain my brain function, I let out a cough. It was a start to getting vocalization back. “Just whisper.” Rayne repeated to me. I was trying, but her hold over me was too strong to just snap out of just like that.

Rayne’s rusty colored hair spilled around my face, and I twitched at the small shock it sent through me. I wanted away from her so bad I could taste it, and all my brain could think of was Kate. I loved her, and I couldn’t lose her over an evil creature that few knew existed. I wouldn’t lose my connection to my family or my career--which was not nearly as important as my family was to me, but still important--because of the vampire either. “Whisper,” I heard her say once more.

Focusing on Kate’s face and her soft, silky brown hair, I surprisingly found my voice. “Yes,” a hoarse whisper escaped from my dry lips.

Rayne sat up straight, and her amber eyes focused on something across the room. I glanced over and saw Kate huddled right outside the bathroom door. Her brown eyes locked on the vampire who’d make me her junkie. Rayne’s eyes turned back to me. “Your choice is appropriate. I may have your addiction, but even a vampire can’t conquer love. I have no choice now that you’ve told me to stop coming to you, I must obey. I am no longer invited.” With a snap sound, Rayne was gone. Relief washed over me as each time my heart beat. I felt freer than I had for months.

Fingertips brushed my face, and I opened my eyes. Staring back at me were Kate’s brown eyes filled with fear and worry. “Zac,” she whispered.

“I was afraid to tell you.” I croaked out.

Her touch was so gentle, her hands so soft. She brushed back my hair and her lips touched my forehead. Then, she leaned her head against mine. “Is it really over,” she asked quietly.

“Yeah,” I breathed.

Even with my hands feeling weighted down, I brought up my hands and touched Kate’s forearms. She lifted her head up, and I glanced up into her eyes. “Help me up, please.” I said to her.

As I lifted up on my elbows the best I could being so dizzy, she gently pressed her left hand against my back to support my efforts. Once sitting up, lightheadedness warned me of a possible blacking out for me. Breathlessly, I said to Kate, “Cut my hair.”

“What,” she sounded baffled by my request. Hell, I don’t blame her. I’d had my hair growing out for a while, so it seemed odd for me to be cutting it now. But, it had to be cut, I wanted to be rid of Rayne’s presence completely. My hair had hid her fang marks for too long, and it was time to move past that. Perhaps later when those memories weren’t fresh in my mind, I’d grow my hair back out.

Kate was reluctant to leave me sitting up alone. Not that I blame her for that either, I don’t know I was sitting up through all the fog in my brain. I just wanted to lay down and rest, but my hair had to be cut. I had to stay awake for that.

Returning with a pair of scissors, I don’t really know where she found them, Kate sat back down on the bed. She ran her fingers through my hair one last time, and I saw a mixed emotion gracing her face. She was both happy and sad to see my hair go, but so was I. Her hand hesitated as she took a lock of my bangs and held the scissors up to my face. The cold metal touched my forehead, and it felt good against my feverish skin--my body temperature always stayed screwed up for days after Rayne sucked a pint of blood out of me. I closed my eyes from exhaustion and let my other sense take control. I heard the soft clip from the scissor blades, and I felt loose hair brush down my cheek. Just with that first snip, I was completely calm. I was free to climb out of the hole I’d once again dug myself into. Believe me, I was more than ready to return to a normal, vampire-free, life.

Finally, I didn’t feel Kate’s hands in my hair anymore. I knew she was finished cutting just because the hair weighed my head down less than it had. The sound of the scissors being set down signaled me to open my eyes. Kate was staring at me with an unreadable expression on her face. I figured he was trying to figure it all out. A question popped into my head. I didn’t know why she’d been in the room. “You were in here the whole time?” I inquired.

“I wanted to know why you were acting so distant,” she replied. Then, there was a hesitation. “I wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t even know that… that …vampires were real.” Kate’s voice dropped to a whisper by the end of the sentence.

I felt an apology was too vague. “I love you, Kate.”

Kate touched my cheek. “I love you, too.” Then, she leaned into me and gingerly kissed my lips. I hadn’t felt so pleased with my life for months, so I wrapped my arms around Kate’s waist and kept her so close to keep kissing her.