Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Church of Slack!

I've come before you today to save you from the perils of evil, the clutches of sin and the devils and demons lurking from within. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I've come before you today and I present to you the world's first guilt free religion! That's right boys and girls. No more waking up early on Sunday morning - it's all about believing in yourself!

I said, it's all about believing in yourself!

I said, it's all about believing in yourself.

Now listen up closely and listen to me, and I'll make sure you live the rest of your life BULLSHIT FREE! That's right, ladies and gentlemen - everybody out there listen to me right now. I want you to put your hand on the stereo. Put your hand on the speaker - NOT THAT SPEAKER, THE OTHER SPEAKER - put your hand on the speaker. I want you to put your hands in the air where I can see 'em, and I want you to repeat after me:

I AM SOMEBODY

I SAID I AM SOMEBODY

AND I'M GONNA BELIEVE IN MYSELF

BECAUSE

I AM SOMEBODY

And I'm gonna shake mah ass.